Tuesday, April 10, 2012

The Beginning

So I've pretty much figured out by now that no one is ever going to read this...at least not anytime soon. But maybe it will act somewhat as journal for me, or at least be a venue for me to get my thoughts out. These last two weeks have been incredible within my walk with Christ. On April 1st I broke up with my girlfriend of six months. It wasn't easy by any means, but I was comforted in knowing that it was what God was telling me to do. My whole life I have been begging to hear him, to be able to actually make a decision based on what God was telling me. But until this point in my life I was never able to hear him.
One day when I was listening to Richard Ellis online http://www.oneplace.com/ministries/richard-ellis-radio/listen/the-final-foe-262563.html. I heard him quote James 4:7-8 "Therefore submit to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners; and purify your hearts, you double minded." This verse made me realize why I could never hear God, why I always felt close to him, but yet so far away. I knew at that point that this whole time I had been telling the devil to flee from me, but I hadn't been submitting myself to God. I realized that it was like trying to make lemonade without lemons, I knew that I could mix water and sugar together as much as I wanted but if I never went and got lemons, and squeezed them into the water, I would never have lemonade. As it says in James 3:2 "For we all stumble in many things. If anyone does not stumble in word, he is a perfect man, able also to bridle the whole body." From that I knew that I would never be perfect, I know that I will stumble every day. But I realize that I have to allow God to control every single aspect of my life. Until that point where I submit myself to him, the devil will not flee from me.

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